Dementia is the cruelest illness.
It was a follow up call and during a routine questionnaire for an assessment .
Interviewer : “Who drives you to get your grocery?”
The old lady replied, “It used to be my husband. But now, just this morning, he can’t recognise me and I had to send him away to Emergency. The answer is no one. I will need help in the future for the both of us.”
My heart sank and I had to clear my throat.
In her own few words, I heard her uncertainty and helplessness for what come may.
When she said “… in the future…”, it echoes her commitment “in sickness and in health till death do us part”
This, really touch me.
Towards the end of our life journey, material need is no longer a necessities. Rather, I believe that one’s will to live too, solely rely on the imprints of our memory of our partner, our loved ones, our family.
Cruel, because when you wake up one day, you no longer remember them. You no longer reacts the same way you once were. You can never reassure how much you love her. Gone are the days, laughing over the most trivial silly fights, watching sunset or merely enjoying each other’s presence.
Cruel, because your partner your loved one can never interact with you the way it used to be. They no longer feel your presence you once were. She may never be told how beautiful she is to him or holds her hand. Your presence has become an emptiness to her.
But one thing remains, the unconditional vow to each other….till death do us part.
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